Skilled Nursing Facilty/Very threatening!

[buffee]

My mom is 74, perfect health except arthritis, no smoking, drinking, we are vegans. My mom walked 4 miles a day & did yoga. She went in every year for a physical. She was in A-PLUS health. Took her in 5/20, for a neck fuson for the arthritis. Shw was to be home in 2 days. Two days after the surgery she developed Severe Hypoxia, then some stupid nurse gave her coffee and she aspirated. All of this, caused her blood pressure to rock, her heart to fail and her oxygen level to drop drastically. End result: Permanant brain damage, cannot swallow, speak or eat. She was on a ventilator from 5/23 until 7/10, then they put in a TRACH. I questioned her mental state and was told "oh its the drugs, ph its ICU syndrome, oh its your mom's age etc. On 7/21 she was transferred to a Skilled nursing sub acute unit....
This place is 5,000 per month & its very nice.....she did pretty good the first week, then her oxygen levels dropped very low again..thats when I was told she had permanant brain damage...she is always trying to get out of bed, she wants her feeding tube out and her trach....she won't let them do tests....yes my mother is NOT a model patient(the last time she was in a hospital was to give birth is 1964) and of course they do not restrain...even though I authorized soft ones, because I was worried she would fall and break a hip...so now they have someone sit with her 24/7
I just got off the phone...with her "pulimary doctor" they needed my consent to put her on a bunch of anti psyhcotic meds, to control her behavior. "If we can't get your mother's behavior under control, she will have to go to a mental institution" I flipped!!!!!!!!!!!!!seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!All these doctors caused everything that is wrong with her...all she wants to do is come home, she does not comprehend whats going on....shes not manic, depressed or frickin bipolar----she has BRAIN DAMAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am at a total loss, my mom & I have lived together for 10 years, she like my BFF~~this is nightmare. I just questioned him because hes not addressing the fibrosis(from the surgery) and other physical things wrong..its interesting that they won't physically retrain but they will CHEMICALLY RESTRAIN......I understand not being able to have someone sit with her 24./7 but are all these meds for her health or convience for them??

[Big J]

Buffee that is a very tough situation.  I am always suspicious of meds that are prescribed at these facilities.  At the previous facility where i kept my mom they were giving her increasingly high doses of morphine for "pain".  However these high doses would make her very complacent and confused and I believe they give this to residents to keep them quiet.  My suspicions were confirmed when I recently moved my mom to a new facility and they said they would try to wean her off the high doses of morphine because it can cause more harm than good. 

Is there a social worker at your mom's facility that you can talk to before they put your mom on these meds?  Also, is your mom on hospice?  They can give you a more unbiased assessment sometimes or provide you with other options.   Unfortunately you may need to weigh the option of her hurting herself vs. being chemically restrained but if I was in your situation I would see if there were any other alternatives first.

[Dianna]

You might talk to the doctor about Namenda and Aricept. They help my mother a lot.  When she started taking them (before her stroke) it was like turning the light on.  She wasn't afraid, or angry anymore. It worked without the "drugged" effect. 

[marizandres]

I'm sorry to hear this. I feel for you, it's so hard. I would really suggest to ask the doctors or maybe ask for second opinion. It might not worth the risk. So better be sure.

[himani]

I would see if there were any other alternatives first.

[messa]

 Unfortunately you may need to weigh the option of her hurting herself vs. being chemically restrained but if I was in your situation I would see if there were any other alternatives first.

[Mike M.]

Freaking Doctors, won't fess up to any mistakes and just push more pills and dope,remote control from the "Club". I know for a fact how they are when I work for them, They want Cream and want to pay for milk.Then they want a lifetime free warranty. Do THEY give Warranties on they're work? NO! I screw them every chance I get. They are low lifes only worried about their Country Clubs, Cars,women and bank accounts. I have yet to see a noble one.I feel for you and your Mom, I'm going through this with my Dad. For you noble Dr.'s out there I feel sorry for you to be associated in the same class as the low lifes in your profession.Yes, there are low life mechanics out there but the cars don't feel pain and a fellow car doesn't have to hear a hurting car scream in pain.

[divreid]

That's an awfully hard situation to be in and I'm sorry for you.  I guess you better ask for the help of a social worker or if you have a family friend/relative who's a doctor, then they're the best person to consult.  Good luck.

[debedwards]

I'm sorry that you need to get through all those things. I think the best way to deal with this is to look for another nursing facility or other facilities that can provide all the help that your mother needs right now. Giving her more medicines might just make things worse. I hope you and your mom can get through this.

[smithwilliam12]

You might talk to the doctor about Namenda and Aricept. They help my mother a lot.  When she started taking them (before her stroke) it was like turning the light on.  She wasn't afraid, or angry anymore. It worked without the "drugged" effect. 

[peterjohnson622]

At the previous facility where i kept my mom they were giving her increasingly high doses of morphine for "pain".  However these high doses would make her very complacent and confused and I believe they give this to residents to keep them quiet.  My suspicions were confirmed when I recently moved my mom to a new facility and they said they would try to wean her off the high doses of morphine because it can cause more harm than good. 

[hencybell]

However these high doses would make her very complacent and confused and I believe they give this to residents to keep them quiet.  My suspicions were confirmed when I recently moved my mom to a new facility and they said they would try to wean her off the high doses of morphine because it can cause more harm than good. 

[rmillcmanagement]

At the previous facility where i kept my mom they were giving her increasingly high doses of morphine for "pain".  However these high doses would make her very complacent and confused and I believe they give this to residents to keep them quiet.  My suspicions were confirmed when I recently moved my mom to a new facility and they said they would try to wean her off the high doses of morphine because it can cause more harm than good. 

[caitrin]

That's an awfully hard situation to be in and I'm sorry for you.  I guess you better ask for the help of a social worker or if you have a family friend/relative who's a doctor, then they're the best person to consult.  Good luck.

Hi Buffee ...

I am also suggesting what "divreid" suggested you. This is very harsh time for you and only a close relative and friend can much understand your situation. I am really sorry that I can't suggest any useful to you.